1,000 miles: step 84

This week I’ve been thinking about being a 20-something.

I’m out of college, and I’m going into October pretty much unemployed, by choice. Don’t get me wrong, I need a job. I also need a career.

I decided that long-term data entry was a job, not a path to a career in writing or editing. It wasn’t an easy choice. The office wasn’t a hostile place. I had a full-time schedule. I could imagine myself staying there, which was part of the problem.

I have to take risks. I strongly believe in my dreams– no one’s going to make them happen but me.

My professors always said, “you can do so much with an English degree.” I haven’t changed my mind about the English degree. I have a valuable degree, but it’s one whose worth has to be proven. All throughout college, I knew that finding a job in my field would be tough. I knew that much.

I have to be honest. I didn’t imagine that the job search would be this hard, that I’ll be on job application #50 within the next week or so.

The 20s is a hard stage.

I’ve always been so ambitious, and that’s not enough. Grit is as necessary. A strong support system is as necessary. I’ve been plagued with more self-doubt than usual. Even though I know not to measure myself by the accomplishments of other people my age, I still look at close friends with full-time jobs and families.

I look at people with English or Communications degrees AND a job. And I wonder when is my life starting?

My adult, out-of-school life has started. It’s one of struggle, and I’m not a stranger to that. In 2012, when I learned I wouldn’t graduate within 4 years from college, I accepted that my life’ has a different rhythm.

These days, it’s back to sending freelance proposals to clients, re-writing cover letters, and getting excited for that one interview.

It’s going beyond writing a to-do list that isn’t related to essays, projects, or grades. It’s checking off my to-do list because I hold myself accountable. It’s…

  • Visit the National Harbor [Done!]
  • Write a collaborative poem [Done!]
  • Don’t panic when you get a flat tire [Done!]
  • Write this blog post [  ]

It’s volunteering with children, but knowing full well that I want a dog in my future. It’s feeling old.

These days, it’s remembering the 20s is young.

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