1,000 miles: step 41

Yet another summer to begin waving good-bye to–and even though fall is my favorite time of year, I’m finding that I already miss this summer. And not because it was particularly nice. I miss it because it was a dash of dreadful, and I thought there would be so much more… Life can disappoint every once in a while.

I’ve learned a lot about people in these past months. Some of the obvious things: ways in which people change and stay constant. Ways in which they come and go, parting the air and refreshing your oxygen.

But the hardest lesson to learn came through working in the retail business. Turns out large crowds and speedy, friendly conversations isn’t my calling. Even when books are involved. Especially when books are involved.

When I told my manager “this isn’t working out for me,” she completely understood. Honestly, she was surprised I hadn’t had some sort of melt down up until then. According to an ex-coworker, I’m like one of those boxes labeled “fragile”–and I’ve suspected, for some time now, human being is just a guise. I survived though.

Now, I have to wonder if I’ll survive my actual calling years into the future. Whether or not I will be able to handle a classroom of students if I couldn’t tolerate them outside the classroom… whether or not it will matter to me how underpaid teachers are after earning minimum wage this summer.

And as always, I must remind myself my calling is today, this day, this now… such as textbook readings that need to get done.  Or even better, enjoying a twist of pop music for the bajillionth time.

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